UniVacky

                   UniVacky

        Twas BRKPT and the I/O queue
                Was SYMming fastrand to the wind.
        All idle was the CPU
                Production had just FINned.
        "Beware the UNIVAC, my son,
                Its fastrand and its high-speed drum
        And FIELDATA, and listen for
                The CTMC's hum".
        He quickly dialed a low-speed line
                And then keyed in his site-id 
        He typed @RUN and then sat back
                To wield his CRT. 
        "*NO ACTIVE RUN*" it answered back
                And "WAITING ON FACILITY";
        "BAD STATUS WORD FROM CSF"
                And the just "SYMB 03".
        "I'll fix you now", he shouted out,
                "You've finally got me ired.
        I'll use the system's terminal:
                1200-Baud, hard-wired !!" 
        "I'll write a loop in SSG
                To make your ferrite holler!
        1000 runs, and in each one
                Ten ER's to FORK$."
        "Each FORK", he smiled, "@ADDS 10 files;
                Each file starts 10 runs more;
        Each run contains ten COBOL jobs
                To crunch along in core." 
        "Each job will write ten nine-track tapes
                And then rewind and read them;
        Each tape, of course, is punched to cards
                For backup, if I need them."  
        As fast as light his fingers write:
                @SETC, @TEST, @JUMP
        @XQT and then, for spite,
                A full post-mortem dump.  
        He wiped his hands upon his shirt
                And then he FINned his run.
        And scurried to the console
                To sit and watch the fun. 
        "MEMORY FAULT", the system cried 
                And "PARITY-07 ADG"
        "PANIC DUMP IMPOSSIBLE",
                And "ERROR 53".  
        "Oh frabjous day, callou callay,
                I've made the system stall".
        He tore it from the pagewriter
                And hung it in the hall.  
        Twas BRKPT and the I/O queue 
                Was SYMming fastrand to the wind.
        All idle was the CPU 
                Production had just FINned.
Attibuted to:
Yes, it was by Harry Gilbert, Walt's brother.  At the time(early 70s),
Harry was working for the Administrative Computer Center, on the old
1108 we got rid of when our 1108SP arrived.

--
George Baltz  N3GB          301-405-3059                 gwb@csc.umd.edu
Captain (Emeritus), UMD Hors d'Oeuvres Team     "Working in this place is like
Computer Science Center, University of Maryland  trying to dance 'Swan Lake'
College Park, MD 20742-2411                      on the Beltway" - Jeff Jewett

Louis A. Mamakos <louie@TransSys.COM>

Last modified: Thu Dec 14 00:03:02 1995